Ep 65 What You Most Need To Hear: Finding Your Loving Companion

Hi, my name is Elise. I’m the Left Brain Intuitive and welcome to the Left Brain Intuition podcast. That special place where logic meets intuition. So today I want to give you an intuitive message just for you.

What do you most need to hear about finding your companion, the love of your life?

Finding your husband. Doesn’t really matter what you call it, but right now there’s a lot of you who are seeking that partnership with someone. And you are stuck, stuck, stuck. And a lot of that comes from too much experience that have started to weigh you down. Experiences where you thought you had found the right person and it didn’t work out.

Or you’ve been looking for a really long time and you’re still single. Or you keep getting into a pattern with the wrong guy. So all of these things are data points that you’ve been accumulating, writing in your little mental notebook. And the reason you’re stuck right now is because, primarily, you are focused on the past data points as opposed to what you want.

And this is, this is such a natural thing to do, such a natural thing to do, because what you have access in when you’re thinking throughout the day is your logical mind. It’s the conscious part of your mind. It’s the part that likes to have steps and make plans, and it uses just conscious information that easily comes to you.

And it’s easy for you to remember all the times that things went wrong, or the fact that it’s been so long. Or maybe you just had this one big heartbreak and you’ve been reluctant since then to open up to a new relationship.

But your past does not predict your future.

The Puppy Paradox

When you are taking charge of your life and specifically of your mind. So for example, If you adopted a puppy, and then it’s a tiny little puppy, it fits in your hand. And then after three or four weeks, Oh, it’s, it’s a little bit bigger.

You need two hands to hold a puppy. And if you have, if you have a great Dane puppy, after a couple of months, you have a huge puppy, it’s huge. And those are all data points, right? Wow. This puppy is growing really, really fast. And, and if it kept going this way, the puppy would be humongous. But that’s not what happens.

Eventually the growth plateaus and then the puppy turns into an adult. So the things that have happened to you in the past were strongly related to where you were back then, to how you, how you thought back then, to things you were thinking, doing and saying back then. They’re not representative of what can happen to you tomorrow because you’re in a different place now.

And you have been hurt in the past and you have worked on healing these wounds. And so now you’re in a place that is more healed. You’re in a different place now than you were when these events happened. So if you just transfer those data points from the past to the future, for example, by saying, ah, there’s just no good man for me.

There’s no guy I would get along with. All men will betray you because that’s the data points you hadn’t passed. However, you’re getting caught in the puppy paradox, where eventually we grow out of this and we can start something new. Now there’s a case, there’s a situation where we never outgrow this.

And that’s when we keep focusing on what happened in the past. Now, notice that I said focusing, right? I’m not saying that the past didn’t happen. This did happen to you and it’s part of who you are now.

And that’s okay. What we want to do though, is we want to play with the cards that we were given, but we want to play our very best game.

And this is what intuition can do for you because intuition reaches deep down into subconscious information.

Your intuition knows what you need to do next to pave the way for an inspiring relationship with a partner.

Because this is about you, and all that information is stored on your hard drive, on your body.

You have a hard drive, which is your physical body, where all that information about you is stored, and I just happen to be able to access that and to read that.

I can’t read your thoughts though, so I don’t know what you’re thinking about this, but I do know what’s been stored on your hard drive, because your energy is based on your hard drive, and that’s what I’m reading.

The reason you’re stuck is because you’re basing your future on your past.

And that’s a problem. And I also know that if you don’t change anything, nothing will change. You will stay in the stuck place that you are right now.

The thing is, though, that you have tried really hard, I feel that you’ve been trying really hard for a long time to solve this with your logical mind.

And you’ve read books, and maybe you’ve been to therapy, and you talked to friends about it, and you thought about it, you know, what, what is wrong? Why am I stuck? And, and you have gone as far as you can go, and you have using your logical mind. There’s no, there’s no new information here. That’s going to help you that will come from that place.

We need to dig a little deeper. We need to dig into your intuition. So in finding your companion, there’s two things that you need.

The first thing that you need is you need to be clear about what you want.

And this is a problem for you, because, as soon as I look in this area of your energy, I see that you immediately negotiate yourself down from what you actually want. So, let’s say, for example, you want to be with someone who is respectful of you. Respects your boundary, respects your work, respects your beliefs.

It’s just a very respectful person. And this is not what you’ve experienced in the past. This is not what you’ve experienced. So you have a limiting belief that is telling you, I can’t find somebody who’s respectful. And what’s happening is your logical mind is looking at this and it’s saying, Okay, well if I can’t find somebody who’s respectful,

let me downgrade to something that I think is possible. Maybe I can be with somebody who does not disrespect me every day. It happens once in a while, but not every day. You see how that’s the downgraded version from what you actually want, which is to feel respected in your relationship.

And this is something that you do and I’m pretty sure without realizing it.

So what you really want and what you can really get is deformed by your logical mind. And this is why you’re stuck because you start approaching relationships, not with: okay, do I feel respected here?

But you start with, okay, he was disrespectful, but I’m going to stick around because maybe it’s not going to be too frequent.

And while you’re in that disrespectful relationship, you’re missing the guys that are respectful because you’re busy with this one. And this is a problem.

And this happens very quickly in a relationship, by the way. You are very intuitive, even though you don’t necessarily know how to articulate it, but you feel it early on.

If like: Oh no, this is not a good fit. And then what happens? Your logical mind says, well, we got to negotiate ourselves down from what we want. So let’s stay here. And while you do that, you’re not clearing the way for somebody who is respectful.

And for example, it’s more productive, if you go on a date with somebody, and I don’t think you date, I think you meet people, let’s say, if you meet someone who is disrespectful to you and you just say, you know, that’s not for me, you can still hang out and be colleagues and stuff like that, but you just are putting this person in the category of not a companion.

And then let’s say you meet somebody, you don’t find them attractive. Maybe the person is too old or too young, or there’s something that would put them also in the non companion category, but they’re very respectful. This is a relationship worth having because now you’re filling your data points with respect and you have so many opportunities to feel respected, not with the person who will eventually be your companion, but just adding more data point where you feel that respect.

You feel heard. You feel you can be you. And so this simple shift here is allowing you to compensate for all the data points that you’ve had in the past, where you’ve been stuck. We need you to have more experience of what you really want. So the first thing is you have to figure out what you want. I took the example of feeling respected.

But what’s most useful here is you figure out the traits that you find critical in a companion that you find most important and to just write them down. You can do that right now. You can pause right here, take out a little post it or on your phone and just ask yourself, what are the things that are really important to me in a companion?

That would be a really good fit for me. And then write down a few things. Now, once you have that, you’re not stuck anymore because you know what you’re looking for. That is so good.

You’re not stuck anymore. You know what you’re looking for. And now you’re looking for that in everyday life, in any relationship, because you need more data point showing you that there are men who are respectful and trustworthy, who are funny, who are supportive, who are financially independent. They’re not trying to get to your money.

But in order to experience them and to recognize them and to have them attracted to you and you to them, you need to know and for sure that this exists in the world.

And this is where you’ve been stuck. You were backed into a corner by your logical mind without not being your fault, but through the experiences that you had, you’re standing in a world right now where there are no such people who are respectful and supportive.

This is the world you live in. It’s impossible for you in that little corner to meet this guy.

And in order to get out of this corner, you have to stop listening to your logical mind a little bit and start being clear about what you want and to look for it and to accumulate new data points that pull you away from that corner that says, no, look, this man is very respectful of me.

Or this woman is funny. She makes me laugh. Now, neither one of them are a companion, but now you have two data points that tell you that you can live in a world where these things are possible. And if these things are possible, you can find them. And this is how you find your next step. Towards that guy.

Ah, this is so good. All right, that’s all I’m getting for you today. I hope this was helpful and if you love those intuitive message, why don’t you join me on my intuitive community for logical women at leftbrainintuition.com.

See you there!