[87] Intuitive Message: Feeling Bad That Your Brother Is Not Doing Well?

Introduction to Intuition

Hi, my name is Elise Lebeau, I’m the Left Brain Intuitive, and your intuition is calling. Let’s see what it has to say.

Intuitive Message: Feeling Bad That Your Brother Is Not Doing Well?

So today I have received an anonymous intuitive message for someone in my audience. This message is for a woman who is struggling with her relationship with her brother. I think it’s worse during Christmas time, which is probably why this is coming up right now.

But it’s been going on for a long time, and it’s a very painful area. It feels like you’ve worked on this and you’ve made progress, but it’s an area of your life that can never fully heal. There is a very damaging effect for you from this really difficult relationship with your brother.

The problem here is that you feel bad for him. I don’t see the specifics of his energy, but I see that you feel bad for him. I don’t know if he has an addiction problem or is just the kind of guy who is down on his luck a lot.

You feel bad for him because you’re actually doing pretty well in your life and you don’t know how to help him. However, there’s a very destructive pattern that’s happening here. It’s not beneficial for either of you. This happens a lot in relationships. We tend to live in relationships that are not in alignment with who we are for a long time because we feel we have to, because we feel we should do something, because we feel we should have the magical power to change other people’s lives.

Energy Drain in Relationships

Even the best-intentioned advice cannot change somebody’s life. Only they can do that. But think about all the energy you’re spending on that relationship in your head. You’re feeling bad about it, you’re trying to think of ways to help him, and you’re trying to think of opportunities for him.

I don’t feel that it goes really well when you even talk to him about it. I think there’s bitterness there. So it’s not well-received, right? It’s like unsolicited advice. To be honest with you, just from an energy perspective, what has worked for you would not necessarily work for him. So you are not in a good position to help him at all.

So that’s tricky because, when Christmas comes around the holidays, you feel, “Oh, I should be with family. I should reach out, make an effort, connect with him.”

I also feel that there’s usually a money thing that comes out at this time of year. Again, I don’t see his energy, so I don’t know if he asks you for money or you feel you should give him money, but there’s something there too.

This creates a very tormented energy around money for you. When I first started this episode, one of the things that I saw right away was that this was damaging for you in a very insidious way, where it’s polluting your energy a lot. This continued engagement in a relationship that is not beneficial either for you or for him makes you feel guilty.

I don’t know if it’s conscious, though. I can’t read thoughts. I don’t think it is, though. I don’t think you realize that you feel guilty to be happy because he’s not. I don’t know what kind of bond you have with him that makes you feel responsible for his life. Maybe just because you grew up together or had similar tough experiences as a child, and you got out of it and he didn’t.

But you’re not responsible for his life. There is something really tricky that happens. So in addition to the guilt that you experience, which really pollutes your own relationship with money and prevents you from being even more well-off than you are, because you could be.

Resentment and False Responsibility

The other thing that’s happening on top of that is that you can’t help him. You try, and you keep trying, and there’s resentment on both sides about this. It’s keeping you in a place where it’s hard for you to be happy at this time of year.

I see that there are other things in your life, other relationships that are beneficial in your life right now. But this one is so powerful, it grabs you from that place of guilt and that place of pollution, that it has a widespread effect on your energy. I’m not sure that you’re aware of how much it costs you to keep having interactions with somebody who does not benefit from the interaction at all and is also detrimental to you with the guilt, with the pollution, when it comes to you making even more money and with that sense of false responsibility.

Breaking Assigned Roles

It’s a little bit like you each have your role, right? You’re the one who was successful, overcame the obstacle, and he’s the one who didn’t. It’s like you have roles that have been assigned to you and you have a hard time shaking out these roles. When it comes to money, for example, you’re the one giving him money. That’s how the role works. Which means that if you’re stuck in this role, he’s stuck in his too. It’s like you’re replaying the same scene over and over again without realizing it.

Stepping Away from the Scene

Now, if you were to step away from the scene and say, “You know what, I’m just not playing that anymore. I’m not being that person to you anymore. I’m not giving you money. I’m not feeling bad for you. I’m not seeing us as I’m well-off and you’re not. I’m not doing that anymore. I don’t participate in this play reenactment anymore.” Instead, I’m going to be in alignment with who I am.

Aligning with Your True Self

That’s what I see in your energy. These are the words that I see very well anchored: that you want to make more money, but you’re holding back because of that relationship. The guilt that you’re experiencing now for the level of well-off that you have right now would be ten times worse if you were even more well-off and more rich and wealthy.

You have the capability of being wealthy in your lifetime, and right now you’re not moving in that direction because of that relationship. It’s a really high cost. If you were to step away from replaying that scene over and over again, then he would also be free. It would free you both if you were to decide to be in alignment with who you really are.

I don’t feel that you need to cut off all contact. That doesn’t seem realistic. And there’s some other reason why you can’t do that. That reason is fine. I don’t know if you’re both involved in something mutual, but if you were to, let’s say, lower your interaction with him by 80%, you know, see him, talk to him, and think about him 80% less.

If you’re going to Thanksgiving together, for example, and your brother’s there, that’s fine. You can show up, you can be there, but you don’t think about it before, you don’t think about it after, and if you catch yourself doing that, you choose to walk away from these thoughts and think of something else.

Specifically, here’s one way that you could help your brother in a productive way. Whenever these thoughts come up where you think about, “Oh, he’s not well-off and I should help him,” these thoughts, the ones that are not helpful, here’s another thought that you can have that will be helpful. See him successful and by having these thoughts privately, you are sending that energy out like a little radio station.

Because what I’m doing right now really is reading your energy, right? So if you were to, whenever you think about him as, “Ah, I wish I could help him, he’s not well-off,” if you were to interrupt that thought and think about, “I wish him to be really successful. I know that if he puts his mind to it, he can be successful. I want him to be successful.” All of these thoughts will first of all feel much better right away.

But you’re also starting to broadcast to him this more supportive energy. Even though you don’t tell him to his face, you never have to tell him you’re doing this, you can do it in the privacy of your own heart. But this makes a difference.

Changing the Role

It’s a combination of you not participating in the same role that you had before and sending that changed message energetically. We’re all connected even when we don’t realize it. For people like me, it’s really obvious that people are connected because I can interpret that.

So when I see two people in my mind, I will briefly have an image of their energy and how it’s intermingling, but also I can see how other people are connected to them and it’s like this, it’s an instant, right? It’s not something that I spend a lot of time thinking about or dwell on, but in an instant, I can see kind of the connections that we all have to each other. Even people we don’t know. Even people that don’t know that we’re thinking about them. If we’re wishing them well, that’s sending a message out there.

Perceiving Energy

Now they can’t hear it though, but they can perceive it. This is really tricky because we tend to communicate with words in our society, but we’re also constantly communicating with energy, even if we don’t know it. Somebody who’s in their house, but they’re really being negative, down on themselves, criticizing everybody around them in their head, that’s radiating like a pool of really tough, sticky, thick energy that is not pleasant to be around.

The neighbors of that person, they don’t realize it, but if they were to move, they would feel much better. Some people are more sensitive to this. There are people who are just completely not in tune with energy. They will still receive it, but their mind rejects it.

Sensitivity to Energy

Then there’s various levels of sensitivity. On a scale of one to ten,

I’m a 30. But you’re pretty sensitive to energy and a lot of people are, even though they don’t know what it is, they can’t explain it in words because it’s not in words, it’s not language-based, but you feel something there.

If you were to send this good energy to your brother by just changing the way you think about him, he would perceive that too. He is able to sense that, not consciously, but he would perceive it. It’s just something that helps a little bit. Instead of being detrimental, it’s helping a little bit.

Unconditional Love

If somebody’s not there, but you think about them, that you miss them and you love them, it helps actually, especially when we have a direct connection with somebody. We’re more sensitive to people that we have a direct connection with. For example, my relationship with my son, I purposefully have to make sure that I’m not always focusing on his energy because otherwise that would be really stressful for me.

He’s doing all kinds of stuff that have nothing to do with me. But I do have a stronger connection to him and when he’s upset, I feel it the most.

Changing Thoughts for Positive Energy

So if you think about your brother in a different role and you see him successful, you see him empowered, you see him changing his life if he wants to, right? And if he doesn’t want to, that’s okay too. You love him anyway. Unconditional love. That feels really good. That feels really good, especially for somebody who has been cast in the role of the one who’s not doing well for a long time.

It takes a very strong ego to not eventually feel like we’re doing something wrong and to not have damage to our self-image when we’ve been cast in that role for a long time. So it’s really helpful to feel unconditional love coming our way. Meaning love that is not related to how well we’re performing in life. You know what I mean? That is a breath of fresh air for him.

Practicing Positive Thoughts

Now he won’t be aware of it, but you’ll know it. You’ll know that you’re doing something productive. This is going to solve two problems. It’s going to solve the guilt problem because now instead of contributing to him feeling maybe even worse about himself, you know you’re contributing to him feeling potentially better about himself. So that will relieve the guilt. He doesn’t need your money. He needs this more.

This will also clear up the pollution that you have at this time of year, where you feel sort of a cloud that comes just from thinking about him. Because now when you think about it, it will be positive. You will interrupt the thoughts that are negative, and you will encourage in your own mind the thoughts that are uplifting, inspiring, filled with unconditional love, just over and over again.

You can just repeat it to yourself while you’re, let’s say you’re driving to Thanksgiving and normally the whole way you’re driving, you would think about how you hope he was okay. No, now when you’re driving to Thanksgiving, you’re going to think: he is powerful in his own life, I love him no matter what.

All these thoughts are. You can just repeat them until they become kind of a reflex. Every time you think about him, now you have these different thoughts, and you’re not participating in that same old scene.

Alright, that’s all I’m getting for you today. I hope this was helpful, and I hope it’ll help you this Christmas. Talk to you soon.